Here's the secret to kissing dead-end relationships good-bye and
finding a man that gives more than he takes.
BY LAURIE LANGFORD
Women need to feel secure in a relationship, and love, not marriage, is the foundation that creates that feeling of security. A wedding ring is no guarantee. I know women who have been married for years who do not feel secure, because they're not sure they have the complete love of their husbands. If you do not feel confident in a man's love and commit-ment, your happiness is severely limited. When a man deeply loves a women, he responds to her in an entirely different way than he responds to anyone else. Even though he may be gruff with others, when he's with her he is tender and gentle. He has an overwhelming desire to make her happy and to give her what her heart desires. When she walks into the room, he lights up. She brings him tremendous happiness, joy and contentment. He feels as though he can't live without her, and he certainly wouldn't want to try. This kind of devotion goes beyond a man saying "I love you," or giving you a dozen roses. It is an intense connection. Isn't this the kind of love you long for? Unfortunately, it's usually not what we end up with. We get involved with guys who aren't worth the time or trouble. We confuse a sexual fling with a relationship. We become emotionally attached to men who aren't interested in making a commitment.
When Closeness Leads to Pain: There is nothing more painful than allowing yourself to be vulnerable with a man only to have his feelings and behavior change. Even worse is not hearing from him for days, weetks, months or ever again. It's humiliatitg. It hurts. Yet many of us make the same mistake over and over because we crave love and closeness. Or we let our hormones get the best of us. Or we're easily seduced \by smooth talkers. Let me reassure you that you never have to feel this pain again. You have the power to create the life you've always wanted.
Do You Want Love? Why Settle For Less? Part of the process of change is being honest: Admitting that a relationship is one-sided and unfulfilling can be painful. But it's time that we get in touch with our feelings—being clear about what we want in a man and a relationship is the only way out. To help clarify your own feelings, ask yourself the following questions: • Do you often doubt your man's love for you? • Do you feel you give so much more than him? • Do you often feel taken for granted? • Do you feel that he sees you as a sex object rather than as a potential lifemate? • Does he resist committing to you? • Does he resist saying "I love you"? • Do you find yourself feeling angry or resentful toward him or men in general? • Do you sometimes feel lonely even though you are in a relationship?
If you find yourself nodding "yes" to one or more of these questions, you're settling for a lot less than you deserve.